Friday, December 31, 2010

What Would Julian Do?

Q: Do you see yourself… as some sort of messianic figure?

JA: Everyone would like to be a messianic figure without dying. We are bringing some important change about what is perceived to be the rights of people who expose abuses by powerful corporations and then to resist censorship attacks after the event. We are also changing the perception of the west. 
Q: You want to change the world?

JA: Absolutely. The world has a lot of problems and they need to be reformed. And we only live once. Every person who has some ability to do something about it, if they are a person of good character, has the duty to try and fix the problems in the environment which they're in.
That is a value, that, yes, comes partly from my temperament. There is also a value that comes from my father, which is that capable, generous men don't create victims, they try and save people from becoming victims. That is what they are tasked to do. If they do not do that they are not worthy of respect or they are not capable.
Right on brother! Not only do generous individuals try and save people from becoming victims, they also try and prevent nonhuman animals from being victimized by man's cruelty and/or ignorance. It's all about reducing the amount of suffering in the world, baby!

As Paul McCartney once said:
Hey Jules, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better...
and that's exactly what Julian Assange is attempting to do. He's taking a corrupt situation and trying to make it better by exposing the injustices and "fucking dishonest bullshit" (to quote the Judy Davis character in Woody Allen's Husbands and Wives) of those who hold a position of power.

To quote another movie, this one from Julian's homeland, Australia...Muriel's Wedding, "You can't stop progress." That's right, the progress of a more just and fair world through openness and transparency.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

What's The Difference Between Tom Hanks and Bear Shit?

A: One's a Forrest Gump, the other's a forest dump.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Number One Movie This Week

no real surprise that the number one movie at the box office this week is...

Order Is Intrinsically Unstable

"Cells must work just to maintain their complex structure, because order is intrinsically unstable" ~ Campbell Biology 6e

Why, oh why, couldn't we live in an effortless universe where order was stable and needed no work to be maintained...then we could all sleep in on Monday mornings!

Perhaps the second law of thermodynamics is misinterpreted however. Maybe what we call disorder and entropy is actually the universe's way of trying to create order out of distribute everything equally in an unjust universe where some have more than others.

I remember a quote from a book I had as a child called, "The Holy Bible According to Hogan's Heroes" that went, "A false balance is abomination to LARRY HOVIS: but a just weight is His delight." I never made the connection at the time, but "LARRY HOVIS" should be understood as all the physical laws that govern our universe...the one we happened to be born in. So in essence, the universe is trying to pull things back to a nice, calm, relaxed state...away from all the fussin' and a-feudin' that we refer to as, "order".

Good old Larry Hovis...nothing beats that!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Enos Landscape

To celebrate the 10th anniversary of his 1973 painting Penis Landscape, H.R. "Pufnstuf" Giger tried once again to stir up controversy in 1983 when he created an homage to his favorite prime time comedy program, The Dukes Of Hazzard, with his little known work, Enos Landscape. 
The painting was received with such indifference and apathy by the public that even the Dead Kennedys refused to include it as part of a video for their song, Goons Of Hazzard. The painting was however used by an auto parts manufacturer for a somewhat unpopular television ad campaign in 1984 in an effort to sell more dipsticks. The campaign failed and the company subsequently went bankrupt.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Elk Island Line

i found out something profound today. friend of mine, don't need to tell ya his name or nuthin'. "fella told me", he said, "sometimes you just gotta listen to lonnie donegan - rock island line....for all you alberta folk...once upon a time, that song were known as elk island line...established in 1913...long before since old rock island line."

"little known fact", i said.

well i'll be damned if that crazy old man didn't agree with me that time.

to be continued...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Joey Paddlepuss and The Impact Zones - Tombstoning

According to Shark Biscuit Magazine, the popular monthly surf periodical out of Santa Basura, California (who this year celebrated their 50th anniversary), their pick for the number one surf song of the past fifty years, as chosen by a panel of music critics, surf experts and fans alike, went to none other than Joey Paddlepuss and The Impact Zones, for their 1992 instrumental "Tombstoning".

No real surprise there. For when this song was released it spent an unprecedented 96 weeks on the coveted Turtle Roll Hot 100 charts for surf music, holding the number one spot for a record 19 weeks from September 7, 1992 to January 18, 1993. It also won the prestigious Bombora award in Australia in 2000 as the top surf song of the 20th century.

Mack Mullering Bobiewicz, the irreverent host of KSRF radio's daily "surf home" show (instead of "drive home" show), said of Tombstoning that, "Not only does this song best represent the wild surf here on Earth, but with the discovery of water on the Moon and the possibility of H2O on Enceladus and Europa, I can say with the highest confidence that this is the seminal surf song of the solar system."

So without further ado, here are Joey Paddlepuss and The Impact Zones with Tombstoning....HANG 11 DUDE!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Braque-ish Kobzas

stringed kobza
strung kobza

Sunday, December 12, 2010

A Timely History Of My Briefs

from chapter 1

A well known underwear maker (some say it was Fruit of the Loom) once gave a pubic lecture on anatomy. They described how underwear fits into your drawer and how your drawer, in turn, is part of a vast collection of other drawers called a dresser. At the end of the lecture a naked man streaked onto the stage and proclaimed, "Divest yourself of the tyranny of briefs. Your laundry will instantly be cut in half". The underwear maker gave a superior smile before replying, "What shall cover up your nether regions?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever," said the streaker. "It's turtles all the way down!"

Saturday, December 11, 2010

About A Lugubrious Stare

hypo or hyper
a cloth for a diaper
he called for a fiddle or crab
a manatee eel
a malady feels
like picking a virulent scab

indigent waiter
the ironing made 'er
a slave to a reasoning bloke
but idling wankers
competing with bankers
put hair on a bicycle spoke

connecting a coddle
performing a dawdle
in snowy ridiculous climes
palladium theater
a popsicle peter
engaging american dimes

going in pieces
reciting a thesis
about a maniacal lad
another potato
on top a tomato
the one that made kennedy glad

the manna from heaven
at ten to eleven
had all of the biblical hits
with revels and shovels
they covered the bubbles
the camel's abundantly lit

apocryphal noodle
a pup and a poodle
were walking around in a daze
the greener the grass is
for jackie onassis
the more will it fuel the blaze

assumption is somethin'
to pump up a pumpkin
'cause halloween apples are gone
corona's a bonus
on you is the onus
to make it all right to be wrong

a little a lottle
the middle's a model
for how to react in a pinch
gargantuan girls
eat out with a whirl
but never remember to flinch

mechanical camera
corralling a llama
who got a bit outta the air
designing a nail
to hang up a tale
about a lugubrious stare

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Never Take A Cab In Las Vegas

Somewhere and sometime in Las Vegas.

PASSENGER:(hails a cab) Taxi!

(Cab pulls up beside the man. He opens up the backdoor and gets inside.)

CAB DRIVER: Where to pal?

PASSENGER: Circus Circus.

CAB DRIVER: (starts the meter and pulls away from the curb. after a few moments he asks...) Where does Steve Lawrence go to the bathroom?

PASSENGER: (somewhat taken aback) I don't know.

CAB DRIVER: On Eydie Gorme.

PASSENGER: (miffed that the driver would make such a rude and childish comment about, as it happens, two of his all time favorite performers, he replies...) That's not very nice.

CAB DRIVER: I know, he's a sick bastard. Where does Frank Sinatra go to the bathroom?

PASSENGER: (with sardonic irritation) On Eydie Gorme?

CAB DRIVER: Nope, on Steve the backseat of this cab!

PASSENGER: (looks to the empty seat beside him and recoils in horror and disgust as he wishes he had walked to circus circus.)

The End.

The Fonz Says...

Yo, don't be a nerd, eat your spinach.
It's a cool source of vitamin...AYYY!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dali's Jupiter

Animated Vasarely

keep your eyes focused on the central circle for about 30 seconds without blinking, then look straight up. if you've done it correctly, you should now be suffering permanent damage to your retina.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Big Jim Sports Camper

Never get into a Sports Camper alone with Big Jim...
I found that out the hard way!