Barbara Gordon (Yvonne Craig) - Batgirl!

House-Training Your Pet Peeve

the best way to house-train your pet peeve is to keep it buried inside; then wait for it to burst out at those moments when others are around, preferably strangers in confined quarters with no chance of escape and who you will never see again. with the pet peeve now out in the open, it will find its way into the ears of others within your immediate vicinity and become lodged in their brains, leaving them no choice but to hear it and to have it become part of their lives, thus eliminating your need for expensive medication and/or psychotherapy in trying to house-train your pet peeve.

depending on how large your pet peeve is, it may take several such encounters to completely burden others with it until it is gone from you for good. so keep at it. soon not only will your pet peeve disappear, but so will everyone else around you as they slowly become aware of your strategy to get rid of it.

if you follow these simple fruitful instructions, the problem of house-training your pet peeve will vanish and you will acquire the added benefit of having no strangers around you, who are in all likelihood responsible for your pet peeve in the first place.

problem solved.

A Legal Matter

Moron: I was at Wal-Mart yesterday and broke some wind. Can the store legally make me pay for it?

Expert: It all depends on how much damage was done.

Moron: Well, the store was left unscathed, but my pants were split down the middle.

Expert: The pants you're wearing now?

Moron: Yes.

Expert: Get the hell out of my office!

The End

Divorce Ceremony

if people are married in holy matrimony, do they get divorced in unholy acrimony? just asking

Why didn't the aggressive hockey player pay cash for his rent?

because he preferred to use his checking account.

get it?

Lucy Sure Likes Chocolates!

What did the man experience after an alien shit in the outhouse?

a close encounter of the turd kind