featuring: A Brazen Dork

Friday, December 30, 2011

dwdeclare - Anonypuss

hey look! it's the new album by dw! 
dw? not dwdeclare? is it out now?
ah ha.
oh dw! dw, how could you do such a thing?
ha! why do you think? because of you, you little tramp!
this go 'round, all the songs on dw's new album are arranged for the first time according to height and popularity.
featuring:


tell you what i'm gonna do. for today only, and for the rest of time, i'm gonna let you download this album gratis and pro bono. that's right my latin fiend...i mean friend...i said free and for the public good. all yous gots to do is click on this word here (or the download torrent fidgety widget below) and then follow the yellow brick torrent.

included with this deal is dwdeclare's smash hit breakout first album as well as a complementary blowjob (just kidding...that one i'll have to charge you for). so act now or forever hold your penis.

Tucson Stomata

An aerial photo of the San Gabriel neighborhood in Tucson looks like a pea leaf stoma

Friday, December 23, 2011

Paper Typewriter [original song]


i had something to say
now i kind of forgot
and it was really important too
or so i thought
i shoulda jotted dotted it all down
with my paper typewriter

i'll put everything i think
into a letter or word
it doesn't matter if it's sensible
or kind of absurd
we gotta get around to gettin' it out
of my paper typewriter

there's an ideal dream
that's stuck inside her head
she's tired of livin' the lies
somebody else has said
you can make it all real if you want
with my paper typewriter

i had something to say
now i kind of forgot
and it was really important too
or so i thought
i shoulda jotted dotted it all down
with my paper typewriter

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Lady Bulldog (Hillbilly Square Dance)


a combination of lady madonna, hey bulldog, and added guitar parts from me. all sung with the lyrics from the square dance scene from the bugs bunny episode, "hillbilly hare". enjoy!

Promenade across the floor
Sashay right on out the door
Out the door and in to the glade
And everybody promenade

Step right up, you're doing fine
I'll pull your beard, you pull mine
Yank it again, like you did before
Break it up with a tug of war

Now into the brook and fish for the trout
Dive right in and splash about
Trout, trout, pretty little trout
One more splash and come right out

Shake like a hound dog, shake again
Wallow around in the old pig pen
Wallow some more, you all know how
Roll around like an old fat sow
Allemande left with your left hand
Follow through with a right-left grand
Now lead your partner, the dirty ol' thing
Follow through with an elbow swing
Grab a fence post, hold it tight
Whomp your partner with all your might
Hit him in the shin, hit him in the head
Hit him again, the critter ain't dead
Wop him low and wop him high
Stick your finger in his eye
Pretty little rhythm, pretty little sound
Bang your heads against the ground

Promenade all around the room
Promenade like a bride and groom
Open up the door and step right in
Close the door and into a spin
Whirl, whirl, twist and twirl
Jump all around like a flying squirrel
Now don't you cuss and don't you swear
Just come right out and form a square

Now right hand over and left hand under
Both join hands and run like thunder
Over the hill and over the dale
Duck your head and lift your tail

Don't you stray and don't you roam
Turn it around and promenade home
Corn in the crib pen, wheat in the sack
Turn your partner, promenade back

And now you're home
Bow to your partner
Bow to the gent across the hall
And that is all

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Snow Spider [original song]


snow spider
snow spider yea yea

something is crawlin'
out in my backyard
when the flakes have fallen
i wonder what you are

snow spider
diggin' your company
snow spider
steppin' out over me

jumpin' around him
all the young girls scream
but he can't hear them shoutin'
he's caught up in his scene

snow spider
diggin' your company
snow spider
steppin' out over me

after the meltin'
i didn't see you here
don't know what happened
baby you disappeared

snow spider
diggin' your company
snow spider
steppin' out over me

snow spider
diggin' your company
snow spider
steppin' out over me

snow spider
snow spider yea yea
snow spider
snow spider yea yea

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Friday, December 2, 2011

Surfin' Savior [original song]


christmas comes but once a year
santa's sleighboard and reindeer
do you love me
do you surfin' savior

"in the manger, born today"
whisper snowmen on the waves
do you love me
do you surfin' savior

we'll take a sleigh ride o'er the ocean
on this christmas morn
'cause santa's angels made it frozen
so we can ride his sleighboard

jesus surfs for me and you
santa makes christmas come true
do you love me
do you surfin' savior