Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Shattered Miro Constellation Paintings

Come, enter into the mysterious world of The Shattered Miro Constellation Paintings. What strange creations will we encounter on our journey as we stroll through this bizarre landscape of mirRoЯ images. From Sunrise to The Passage of The Divine Bird, we meet the playful Acrobatic Dancers one moment then suddenly without warning who should appear, but the sagacious Poetess. Then in a flash...LOOK!...we are drawn in an instant Toward The Rainbow. Fear not, as we are led on by fractured sounds and haunting dreamlike voices encouraging us to delve deeper and peer further into this realm of the absurd and bewildering. Are you ready? Then let the odyssey...

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Friday, November 26, 2010

The Old Time Atheist Hour - Stickin' Jesus Up

Here is a lost clip from the American television variety show, "The Old Time Atheist Hour". A half hour program of country & western music and comedy which was canceled on the same day that it debuted during the spring of 1962, making it the longest running American atheist TV program to that time. The cast included such well known God-denying country artists as Slappy McGee and The All Star Atheist Jug Band, featuring Roy "Stumpy" Wagonears on triangle; and the incomparable Little Danny Stinky, who ironically and somewhat tragically years later, converted his car to run on hobos. This clip features the song stylings of Cracker Darrel (aka The Pittsburg Pagan), singing his classic hit "Stickin' Jesus Up".

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Although this song never made the American Billboard charts, it did gain notoriety in Britain in early 1969 when it peaked at number 26 on the UK charts. It had achieved a certain infamy after it was performed by Jethro Tull, in front of a somewhat unruly and mostly intoxicated audience during a live 1968 Christmas Day broadcast of the much maligned Rolling Stones' BBC special, "Rock and Roll Farm Report and County Fair".

Jethro Tull performs Stickin' Jesus Up, Christmas Day 1968
on The Rolling Stones special, Rock and Roll Farm Report and County Fair.

This festive fiasco had the Rolling Stones dressed up as five Lincolnshire auctioneers in a county fair setting, with the musical acts being "rock auctioned" to a mock panel of record executives, who would then choose which song the bands would play. In an interview for Rubby-dub magazine in 1973, Bill Wyman referred to this Christmas Day catastrophe as, "One of the worst ideas the Rolling Stones ever had...a bigger disaster than Altamont."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A Message From Paul

As me fellow countryman Charles Darwin once said, "There is no fundamental difference between man and the higher mammals in their mental faculties...The lower animals, like man, manifestly feel pleasure and pain, happiness and misery." You said it Chuck, so let's all go veggie...YEA! And just to clarify, by lower, Charles Darwin did not mean inferior. He was referring to lower on the evolutionary tree of life, as in, they were here before we arrived on the scene. Remember, humans are a late comer to this planet...so let's not spoil the party.

All the Boys Came Rolling Home

i noticed a redneck pick up truck today with a camouflage "support our troops" ribbon on the back...but i couldn't see it. get it?...because it was camouflaged...oh never mind!

and incidentally, if you really "support the troops" as you claim to cowboy, you would demand vociferously to bring the abominable bastards home!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Paul McCartney - Theme From Good Times



Say McCartney?




Yes Lennon?




Do you know the theme from that show on American telly called Good Times?




Sure Johnny.




How does it go again?



Like this...


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Fab!




Ta.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Ghost's Favorite Movie Stars

Q: Who is the ghost's favorite actor?
A: Steve Booscemi.

Q: Who is the ghost's favorite actress?
A: Oddly enough it's Jessica Lange.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Obese Jesus

Q: What did obese Jesus wear?

A: Waddling clothes.

Where Fonzie Goes To The Bathroom

Man in electric chair: So you already know where Fonzie goes to the bathroom, right?
       
            Executioner: Sure, on Potsie.

Man in electric chair: Correctamundo! But, do you know where Fonzie went to the bathroom during his stay
                                in Cambodia in the late '70s?
       
            Executioner: Hmm, I'm not sure.

Man in electric chair: On Pol Pot.
       
            Executioner: Ewww, gross!

Man in electric chair: It sure was...for the Fonz!...did you see what I did there?
       
            Executioner: Yea, I saw...now quit stalling.

Man in electric chair: Wait, wait...just one more!

             Executioner: Alright, one more.

Man in electric chair: Why did Anson Williams win a race against the leader of the Khmer Rouge?

             Executioner: I don't know...why?

Man in electric chair: Because he had the Pol(e) Potsie position.

             Executioner: Oh man that's it. I wasn't going to kill you but now I definitely am!

Man in electric chair: Daannggg.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Amino Acid Song

as i was reading through campbell biology 6th edition at work today (don't tell my boss i spend most of my time at work reading...okay?...we got a deal here?), i came upon the section introducing the 20 amino acids, divided into nonpolar, polar, and electrically charged. in order to remember them all i thought i would write a nutty little mnemonic poem...so here it is:

methionine and tryptophan
and phenylalanine.
isoleucine, glycine then
there's valine, alanine...


...these are all nonpolar, man
and proline is as well.
there's another that i'll add,
it's leucine, 'aint it swell?



glutamine and threonine
and cysteine, tyrosine...
these are polar, serine too
as well asparagine.


now we'll see which ones are charged
electrically for you.
glutamic acid is a one
aspartic acid two.




arginine and histidine
are basic; am i wrong?
as is lysine now we're done
the amino acid song.



...and so here is the actual song. it didn't have to be this melody but i figured...what the hell, i can't really sing anyway so i'll just do something basic (as opposed to acidic).

video

humans can make about half of the 20 amino acids in proteins. the rest are essential amino acids (those which our cells cannot synthesize) that must be obtained from dietary sources.

the following is a list of the essential amino acids:

methionine
valine
threonine
phenylalanine
leucine
isoleucine
tryptophan
lysine

corn (and other grains) have the first six; beans (and other legumes) have all of them except for methionine.
therefore, a well balanced diet of fruits and vegetables that includes grains and legumes, will give a person all the essential amino acids they need. which of course means, all the protein they need.

look ma...no meat!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Bill C-311 Voted Down

In voting down Bill C-311 (The Climate Change Accountability Act), which sought to bring greenhouse gas emissions 25% below 1990 levels by 2020 and 80% below 1990 levels by 2050, the Canadian federal government under Prime Minister Stephen Harper is saying not only to the Canadian people but to the world that it is okay to pollute and destroy the environment as long as it makes money for the already obesely rich! Is this a good example to set for our children or to the rest of the world, that greed and thoughtless selfishness outweigh any moral responsibility we have to all other beings who share the planet with us now? And what of all those who will come after us? Do we not have an obligation to them to see to it that we don't leave the world in a more polluted and wretched condition than it already is in?

A Phospholipid Beatle Riddle...And More

(The year is '68 or 9, with John and Paul both feeling fine. They've supped a little think or two, let's join them...NOW!...and see what's new...)



 Say Paul?






Yea John?






Why don't you write a song about a phospholipid droplet?






Em, what'll I call it then John?





Micelle (ma belle).






What, you mean one of these then?


















The very same.






Gear!




(later that same day)



Heya John?




Yea Paul?




After listening to the album you did with Yoko where you both shout and squeal and make an all 'round silly racket, I reckon I know what you should call it now.




Oh aye, and what's that then?






Shite!




You better run for your life mate!




(as John chases him, Paul runs away screaming...)



I've got a feeling I should have known better!



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I Better Have Brought A Banana To Work

it's now time for my afternoon snack
i better have brought a banana to work
i open up my blue rdf sack
he better have brought a banana to work
searching through my bag, man where is it at?
i better have brought a banana to work
i'm looking everywhere and i can't find it
he better have brought a banana to work
a banana will supply you with nourishment
contains vitamin a, b, and thiamine
folic acid, vitamin c and niacin
potassium, magnesium and calcium
did i leave it on the counter when i left today
i better have brought a banana to work
i've got a pen and eraser and some floss that frays
he better have brought a banana to work
i left in a hurry, i was running late
i better have brought a banana to work
now i think i have to go to iga
he better have brought a banana to work
a banana has the amino acid tryptophan
which can be converted to seratonin
to help get you out of your depression
bananas are also high in iron
let me move everything to one side over here
i better have brought a banana to work
it's gotta be around i can feel it near
he better have brought a banana to work
wait a mo, i think something yellow's appeared
i think i brought a banana to work
it's a banana, a banana, yea, time for a cheer
hurray he brought a banana to work
a banana will give normal bowel function
because it contains fiber and also pectin
it can nourish bacteria in the colon
the probiotic friendly kind if you're wonderin'

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Beware The Beast Man

                                                                  29th Scroll, 6th Verse

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Beware the beast Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport or lust or greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death.

Ignorant Rednecks!

dear oh dear. a frightened bull leapt into the crowd last night at rexall place in edmonton during the redneck rodeo where thousands still call exploitation and cruelty towards animals entertainment.

live by being entertained by cruelty and exploitation, die by being entertained by cruelty and exploitation.
fucking rednecks. these are the same people who don't give a shit about the environment by driving their big polluting pick up trucks and going to tim horton's to create more and more garbage in the world by buying coffee in disposable cups and putting them in disposable carriers and eating their fat ass donuts from disposable bags.

ignorant rednecks are destroying the planet!!!


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Thursday, November 11, 2010

Universal Soldier - Donovan

In "honor" of remembrance day.
Soldiers are not the so called "heroes" that the government and the media keep trying to inculcate in us. The real heroes are the ones who refuse to fight and kill...the conscientious objectors. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.

Here's a great song by Donovan...Universal Soldier


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He's five foot-two, and he's six feet-four,
He fights with missiles and with spears.
He's all of thirty-one, and he's only seventeen,
Been a soldier for a thousand years.

He'a a Catholic, a Hindu, an Atheist, a Jain,
A Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew.
And he knows he shouldn't kill,
And he knows he always will,
Kill you for me my friend and me for you.

And he's fighting for Canada,
He's fighting for France,
He's fighting for the USA,
And he's fighting for the Russians,
And he's fighting for Japan,
And he thinks we'll put an end to war this way.

And he's fighting for Democracy,
He's fighting for the Reds,
He says it's for the peace of all.
He's the one who must decide,
Who's to live and who's to die,
And he never sees the writing on the wall.

But without him,
How would Hitler have condemned him at Dachau?
Without him Caesar would have stood alone,
He's the one who gives his body
As a weapon of the war,
And without him all this killing can't go on.

He's the Universal Soldier and he really is to blame,
His orders come from far away no more,
They come from here and there and you and me,
And brothers can't you see,
This is not the way we put the end to war.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Molecular Anagram

Chemical reactions are like anagrams, only instead of rearranging the letters to form new words they rearrange the atoms to form new molecules.

 'aint that a hoot?

Walking On Water







The high surface tension of water, resulting from the collective strength of its hydrogen bonds, allows the water strider to walk on the surface of a pond.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Oh...Reeeally?

Q: What do you call a device which transmits and receives digital data that hangs below the penis?

A: A scrotum modem.

The Atomic Turtle

Q: What kind of carapace did the atomic turtle have?

A: A valence shell.

Palindrome

i went racing my bike at the palindrome and the start line was the same as the finish.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Creationists - I.E. Con Artists

Just a little something for all the creationists (i.e. con artists) out there who honestly believe that the earth is only 6000 years old, beginning at sunset on October 22, 4004 BC according to Archbishop James Ussher (shams jeer us). This is equivalent to believing that The Grand Canyon is only 2 mm deep! Well, that makes for an easy hike down the South Kaibab Trail.For shits and giggles, have a look at this news release from PEER (Public Employees For Environmental Responsibility) from 2006 entitled, HOW OLD IS THE GRAND CANYON? PARK SERVICE WON’T SAY. I must say this would be laughable if it weren't so lamentably true how these creationist con artists are allowed to promote deliberate obscurantism by manipulating government officials and the press in their insidious attempt to brainwash the gullible and ignorant. But I suppose once a person knows the facts based upon actual evidence rather than tradition, authority or revelation (believing something because it "feels" right) then those who continue to spread misinformation and falsehoods no longer have the power to molest the minds of people and have lost control over them (and their wallets). Similar tactics are used by global warming deniers as well and all those greedy rednecks who still believe that poisoning the land and air due to our extraction and use of oil and gas is beneficial because it "serves the economy".
Meanwhile more people are getting cancer, more animals are being displaced and killed and more pollution and garbage is rotting the planet...but i digress.