Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Spot The Potato

When There's Tears In the Eyes of a Potato

Johnny said goodbye to his sweetie pie
He said I'll be back in ninety years
She said listen John
you'll miss me when you're gone
You're gonna weap a bucket full of tears

But Johnny said you know my love is cold
So listen woman while I get you told

When the teeth of a comb begin to chatter
And a river's mouth can sing a hot-cha song
When all fat men are trying to get fatter
And plumbers always bring their tools along

When a bird has to use an elevator
And the fire engines all are painted blue
When there's tears in the eyes of a potato
Then I'll be crying for you

When a hat band can play a perfect rhythym
And an ear of corn can recognize the tune
When the leg of a chair has rheumatism
And Christmas is the 25th of June

When a goldfish can lick an aligator
And when cows learn to crow and roosters moo
When there's tears in the eyes of a potato
Then I'll be crying for you

When the bed of a river needs a blanket
And the leaves of every book turn red in fall
When the vinegar's mother has to spank it
And the statues come a-running when you call

When the Eskimos buy refrigerators
And the foot of a mountain needs a shoe
When there's tears in the eyes of a potato
Then I'll be crying for you

By Frank Yacich, Chris Yanich and Clarke Van Ness

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Norden Autohaus?...NEIN DANKE!!

I bought a Toyota Corolla from Norden Autohaus in March 2010. It was only after I paid for the car, when I was driving it home from the dealership, that I noticed when I turned the vehicle to the right the cruise control bar would bang against my knee and secondly when I would brake the car with my foot flat on the brake, my knee would jam right up against the back of the steering wheel. Unfortunately I did not notice these problems during the 15 minute or so test drive. Being new to car buying I did not realize I could have had the option of keeping the vehicle overnight for a test drive. Had I driven the vehicle for a longer period I would have noticed these problems.

The next day I phoned and told them of the problem I was having and was assured that because Norden Autohaus is part of an organization called Go Auto, I could exchange the vehicle for another at any Go Auto dealership in Edmonton. This unfortunately was not the case because they did not deem it to be a "mechanical problem" and Norden Autohaus does not have a 30 day hassle free exchange policy, like for example Westgate Chevrolet which is virtually across the street. The best they could offer me was to be in a car that was advertised for $1000 less than the car that I bought was advertised for but I would have to pay $2000 more. To me, this was unacceptable. When I explained to the person in charge that there is a safety factor involved here with driving the Corolla given the problems I was having he said "it's not a safety issue", just dismissing it out of hand without even bothering to take a look at what I was talking about. For me, the problems with the cruise control bar hitting my leg and the fact that I cannot put my foot flat on the brake without the steering wheel impeding me are big safety issues.

Still, "at the end of the day" (cough, cough) do you really expect a used car salesman to do the ethical thing...especially when he already has your money?

The bottom line is, this 30 day exchange offered by Go Auto is a farce. It does not protect the buyer if they are dissatisfied with the vehicle. If you are going to buy an automobile, make sure you purchase one from a place that offers an exchange, if for any reason you are not happy with your vehicle.

Do not buy a vehicle from any Go Auto dealership, specifically Norden Autohaus...if you do, you will be scheisse out of luck if you have a problem with it.

Addendum to the story. I emailed the CEO of Go Auto, Mike Priestner ( don't know if this is still his email, when you go into the [mis]management team's site mike's email is no longer available) to tell him of my situation and he did not even have the courtesy to respond. Thanks Go Auto and thank you Norden Autohaus.

(I find it somewhat amusing and quite fitting that an anagram of "Mike Priestner", the owner and CEO of Go Auto, is "Empire Stinker"...'aint that the truth.)